I seem to constantly flit between emotional states. one minet im happy the next i feel like my whole world is falling apart. Its exhausting!!
Its getting to the point where even other people notice. I was talking to a friend yesterday we were sending messages to each other for several hours, after a while he commented that my moods were all over the place and i was up and down like a yoyo. I didnt really think anything of it at the time but when i went to bed i was thinking about it and i figure it must be getting worse if someone notices through messages then that cant be good.
I think its always been the same im up and down like a yoyo. I can be sat having a laugh and a joke messing around, perfectly happy and then the next thing i know im crying my eyes out totaly inconsolable. Then the next thing i know im fine again. Its not like anything happens in the mean time to change how im feeling i just go off all by myself. I cant even control it, it does make me feel rather hopeless and to be honest quiet pathetic.
Its at the point where i dont even know if im coping anymore because im confident i am but then bang im so far from copping its unreall and then maybe im getting there slowly. When i speak to my phycologist about this she says she confused and of course my response is "you think your confused, try spending ten min in my mind and then see how you feel", this just frustrates me even more. If even the proffesional is confused what the bloody hell am i ment to do!!!!
I just wish that someone some where could explain to me why i dont have a consistant thought in my mind. Its making me crazy i could pull my hair out but by the time ive finished this post ill be over it!
Its just not fair i would love to feel the same way for like a hour!!!!
But then i guess theres no point in getting myself worked up its never going to change, some peoples mind just are not the same as others. Maybe im over analysing and its the same for everyone. I just feel abit helpless and issolated. I dont want to wine or moan just get it off my chest so i can stop thinking about it.
Fingers crossed lol xxxx